this is my heaven at night;

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is knowing that I got so close to someone again, only to lose them. I have the memories, yes, but what does that do but haunt me more? Remembering the times that all we had to do was look at one another and understand what the opposite was thinking, non-stop laugh sessions, and heart-felt moments where teardrops stained each others shoulders. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about you, wanting to send you a text of some inside joke, or call you when I’m on the brink of a breakdown. I wonder if you’d even listen. After I’ve gotten back down to reality I just question what went wrong, because even now, I don’t know. People come at me with the third degree, and I give blank stares, looking half retarded, or fully stoned; either way I’m guilty of ignorance, because I cannot give them an answer. Hell, I didn’t even get an answer. I just want to know, what happened that was so bad that we were torn apart…maybe we just were never as strong as we pretend to be; maybe our own stubbornness cut through and bled us dry without our attention. Regardless, my heart isn’t filled with hate; I actually love you, because that’s what sisters (and I called you my sister) do; they fuss and argue and say horrible things to each other…but no matter what, they still find love in their hearts for another, and yes, you’ll always be in mine.